Suppose to be first blog entry

      The earliest I can remember seeing gender communicated with my parents was when I was about 6. Me and my sister shared this electric barbie jeep. We thought we were so cool in our little pink car. We drove it around the front yard a lot showing it off. While my younger brother got his very own electric jeep. It was camfoulage and bigger than the one me and my sister shared. He was allowed to drive it a lot further than we were, even though he was younger. He was the boy though so he can take more physical risks. Me and my sister were suppose to be dainty and fragile.
    We had lots of barbie things to play with. I even remember wearing the plastic heels that they had. Training me young and all. I should be a experienced in it by now. I was never really interested in the most domestic things like playing house and that type of things though. Me and my brother were always aggressive.At one point I played on his baseball team when we were like 9 and 7. I was the tallest one of the group. I remember they even wanted me to wear a cup. I refused of course. My genitals were on the inside, well protected. They're obviously was no need. I did not want to wear my hair long either. Many of my friends did but I didn't like the hassle of having to comb it all the time. I did see this slightly austrisize me from my fellow peers.
    Even now I see these interactions between men and women, but I don't feel like I can follow a standard set by society. The most reason interaction I had with a person expressing there expectations for my gender was just yesterday. Me and my roommate are not the most organized of people. She loves to be around people constantly. She feeds off the energy they give her and it reconfirms who she thinks she is. This takes a toll on our apartment. I don't like to clean up after others and neither does she. Having my alone time is something I cherish so I don't tend to bring people over to my apartment often. I did yesterday though.
This is the first time I had ever hung out with this guy and I was pretty nervous. When he saw my aparment he had the reaction I expected. He literally said "you and your roommate are the messiest girls I've ever seen."
     When he saw my room that was a different story. I explained to him that this is my space so I keep it cleanly. I feel as though I live in a frat house. Which, is a sexual geared reference in it's own right. I've seen frat houses and they do tend to be messy from having so many people around all the time. By societies standard though I should love to clean.  My apartment to smell good and be comforting. Standards of being a female can be hard when other aspects like homework and working get in the way.